"Where you from?"

"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."

     I have heard the same question asked of me by many people I've first met or briefly encountered in my life. The question, "Where you from?" It isn't always delivered politely and that is what bothers me most about that simple question. The question is asked with such ignorance that its not a question to obtain more knowledge about me, its a question to kill their curiosity of whether I am "foreign" or "domestic".;)
     I have lived and visited many different states and countries in this wide world, and it is always funny to me how ignorant people really are in the wide melting pot of U.S.A.   I was asked once by a friend, "what is a polite way to ask where you are from?"  My responses:

"May I ask what is your nationality/background/heritage?"

"May I ask about your ancestry?" 

I wouldn't find that rude or intrusive if someone is truly asking in hopes of really learning the answer to their question.  But, there are a few times in my life where I have experiences such ignorance and insult that I will not soon forget it and will continue to keep a running list in my lifetime.

    One experience I remember was when I was 16 years old. I had an interview for a position as a server at a fancy, upscale restaurant toward downtown Fayetteville, NC.  (I will leave the restaurant anonymous for those that might read this.)  When I arrived for the interview I was greeted with warmth from an older lady who was either the co-owner or manager of this restaurant at the time.  The restaurant was empty and quiet because it only opened for business in the evenings.  It was a typical interview for a serving position to any restaurant.  The conversation was going well, until she proceeded to ask a non-restaurant related question.  She asked, with all sweetness  in her voice, "So, how long have you lived in this country?".  There was a long, awkward pause, as I began to register that question through my 16 year old mind.  I then smiled politely and answered, "I was born in the United States...Chula Vista, California." I don't remember much else after that because as she began to talk, I could feel my blood rise and I was gridding my teeth.   I'm not very good at hiding my emotions either, so I know there was a definite look of anger in my face afterward.  The interview didn't last much longer and all I could remember was walking out of that restaurant livid at the old woman for her complete ignorance and stupidity.  I drove home and huffed and puffed into my house ready to vent my anger to whoever was around.  To some, it may not have been such a 'bad' question to ask, but this was a question asked on pure ignorance.  It was insulting to think she did not even "think" I could be from the United States, based on my facial features. I had to be "foreign".
    Now, on a side note, growing up with an American born mother with a Filipino/Spanish heritage and an American father of  Scotch/Irish heritage, who just also happened to be military, the questions of whether my mom was "from this country" did get asked quite a few times in social circles. It was the stereotype that soldiers were going overseas and coming back to the US having brought "home" a wife.  Most times people would just assume my Mother did not speak a word of English, and would instantly speak directly to my Father because he was white.   I never felt sorry for my Mom though because she always carried her own and when she was insulted, she shocked them with her intelligence and whit! She fluently speaks two languages, but ENGLISH is her first language having been born in Connecticut! 
   
   Another experience is actually kind of comical now, but it wasn't at the time.  One year my sweet husband was home for R&R from his third deployment to Iraq, he wanted to mail some items back to the FOB he was in at that time so it would arrive around the same time he returned to Iraq.  At the post office, I help him seal his package and he addressed it.  When we were called up to the desk of the postal service worker, she smiles and tells my husband that the package was addressed incorrectly.  The address of sender was in the TO: section and the address of where it was being sent was in the FROM: section.  As my embarrassed husband proceeds to correct the addressing of the package, the woman says to me, "Is that how you do it in your country?". After a moment pause, she continues to look at me and ask, "I don't know if you do that where you are from"  (referring to the backward addresses).  I think my mouth was open, as if to say, "no the (bleep) she di'n't!?".  My husband stops suddenly to look at me and then back at the postal worker to say, "She is from this country." The comical part was after my husband spoke.  I didn't say one word, as the postal worker began to nervously apologize for the mistake she made.  She quickly gave my husband a smile to try to better the situation, but it was already done.  I stood there just looking at the woman, as my husband handed the package with the fixed addresses. She hurriedly rang up the cost, gave us the receipt, and wished us a good day.  The entire encounter, I had continued to stand at the other side of that desk, staring at her, not uttering a word.  In this instance, the person was sincerely apologetic, so I couldn't really be mad at the ignorant statement.  But, still the ignorance was there.

Now, today was another experience I will have to add to my list of stupid, ignorant things said to me.  I have lived in the South for many years, yet have managed to speak without a Southern accent. I like to think I speak very clear, English, having also taught on the subject for a few years.  My 12 month old daughter and I had lunch with a friend and her baby this afternoon at a nice fast food restaurant in Dothan, Alabama.  As I had lunch, I fed my baby girl nuggets and french fries and asked her clear, full questions like, "Do you want more?, Are you done?, Are you finished?" etc.  Questions of course my toddler is still learning to comprehend.  Toward the end of lunch, two older men were sitting beside us at a table.  As I am feeding my daughter, one of the old men interrupts lunch and asks, "Do you plan on speaking to her in another language? I mean, do you plan on teaching her two languages?"  As I pause to think how to answer that question, the man says, "I mean, you speak very good English."  Now, I am not easily insulted, I just find it funny (not ha ha) that people really have some ignorance when it comes to races other than White and African American.  I told the man I planned on speaking to my daughter ONLY in English.  I then nicely told him that my heritage was Filipino, but that I did not fluently speak the language because my mother, who was also American born, spoke to me in English.  I would have liked to learn the Tagalog language, but English is my FIRST and ONLY language spoken.  The old man looked pretty proud with himself or I don't know, maybe he was proud of me for speaking "very good English".  Either way, it was a little insulting.  My friend later commented on the question as being "stupid".  The funny party I think was toward the end of the small conversation, the old man said with such pride, "I am an English teacher!"  To which I said, "I was ALSO an English teacher for  some years." The conversation ended abruptly when another person in the restaurant stopped to talk with the old man.  My friend and I soon after, left the restaurant with that question still in our minds. Thinking back on it, it wasn't "rude" just again, ignorant.

   " Ignorance is a lack of knowledge, or a willful lack of desire to improve the efficiency, merit, effectiveness or usefulness of one's actions. Ignorance is also a "state of being ignorant" or unaware (not knowing). Ignorance occurs when those who can benefit from knowledge are unwilling or unable to find or assimilate the knowledge. The flip side of ignorance is having knowledge and not having any way of sharing that knowledge. It is the condition of believing I am my mind. 
Ignorance is removed by Understanding. Ignorance is darkness and knowledge is Light. That which destroys ignorance liberates the truth. These quotes can be used to warn people against ignorance and how it can effect their growth and their performance."

    We will all be ignorant to some things. .I just thought to mention rather than to insult someone and assume someone is "chinese, japanese, hong kong...jazz", ask politely.  But, also ask with sincerity to really know more about that person instead to kill quick curiosity of whether they are "foreign"