Why ask why ramblings

As a child, you remember asking the "why" questions, most times not understanding the answers, yet continuing to ask "why" just because? You would think as you grow into adulthood, the questions starting with "why" would be followed by answers you really do seek to understand! Unfortunately, the answers to most of our "why" questions don't get answered.  I torture myself continually seeking the answer(s) to my "why" questions, but inside I know sometimes there is no answer or it is not something I'm meant to understand. (Only the Lord understands why I am here, why I am going down this road/path in my life, why I am married to the man that I am married to,  why I have a child who is so hyperactive and difficult, why I am a stay at home mom when my heart desired more, why am I the way that I am)........etc.,etc.,etc.

 I have a list of "why" questions that rack my brain daily and unfortunately it is half the cause of my unrest at night. My mind is always on "why" questions in my life. It isn't healthy I know.  I just get in those frustrated moments, like right now, and I just want to look God in the face and ask, "WHY...?"  It's not for me to seek the "why" but to "trust" and have "faith" in the Lord.  HE knows why, and he doesn't have to tell me.  He doesn't have to consult me in His plan(s) and I am definitely not to demand answers.  But, I am human, like every person written in the good Book.  I get frustrated, I want to ask " why"just like Moses, "why am I doing this? Why am I here, at this place, doing this very thing" ;or ask the question that Eve (jokingly speaking) probably asked God about Adam a time or two, "WHY, LORD, DID YOU PUT ME WITH THIS MAN??"

As I write this entry, I am told (my voice I'm hearing, yet I know its God speaking) that it is not for me to know. I am frustrated, tired, exhausted, asking "why", but again, its not for me to seek the answers! It is sooooo hard for us, especially in this day and age, to want things right away.  We are in the world of technology.  It has increased our level of impatience over the years. The Internet gives us answers to any question we may have in a matter of minutes.   I want to know the answers to my "WHY"?s sooner rather than later.  AND, sometimes in God's plans, its years and years before you ever get that answer you seek.

So, if any of this made sense, my biggest WHY question that has spurred all this rambling is the very question: "WHY, LORD, DID YOU PUT ME WITH THIS MAN?"  Frustration in the man I married really does get me wondering as to why HE (God) put two stubborn, hard headed, strong willed people together to marry and live our lives!  So much frustration in these last few years of marriage has me asking that question a lot!  I don't know if half of it is because there is a lot of stress in his job and mine (his job being Army and learning to fly a million dollar piece of metal and my job being Mother to a busy body toddler), or are we really compatible? We are coming up on five years of marriage and I can say that it has been some of my toughest years!!Why, yet again, are we fighting over..."X,Y,Z" issues? I don't know.  God does though. So, it is best I let this rest rather than keep me up.

Why, oh, why do we even bother to ask "why"?